12:19 PM #
I'm shocked and appalled. If I had any food in my stomach, I'd throw up.
12:23 PM #
Writers?! All of these tweets are mine. Nobody helps me. The nerve.
12:26 PM #
And don't click the link, you guys. Goes straight to a pornography website. Disgusting.
12:29 PM #
Why won't @LUNAbar send me the 75 free boxes they promised, to the address I FAXED them TWO WEEKS AGO?
12:32 PM #
Sure, Luna CLAIMS to empower women, but look at how they treat one of their customers. Despicable.
12:35 PM #
Turns out they're just another soulless corporation that probably has child laborers. Who even knows where the factory is? Vietnam? MEXICO?
12:38 PM #
It's obvious to me that Luna Bars are made by sad Mexican children who put roaches in all the boxes. And I'm standing up for those children.
12:42 PM #
We are the 99%, you guys. I'm so hungry.
04:58 PM #
Sorry for flying off the handle earlier, you guys. Just really hungry.
05:01 PM #
The Carlsons are coming over soon. They say they're worried about me.