12:20 PM #
Welp, I got tasered again.
12:23 PM #
Was out in the backyard napping under my Mexican blanket, and I guess the neighbors called the cops. They thought I was an illegal.
12:28 PM #
The cops kicked me awake, yelling "vamonos." I panicked and bolted. Was halfway up the neighbor's fence when they tasered me.
12:32 PM #
Went down hard in the soil. Ruined my chinos. As I convulsed in the dirt, they dug through my pockets. I guess they were planting drugs?
12:38 PM #
That's when they found my IDs and my Jimmy John's gift card. Then they just apologized and left. Didn't even help me up.
12:41 PM #
I'm not Mexican.