Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed May 12 2010

12:23 PM #
Lost a button in the middle of my shirt and my stomach hair keeps sticking out. I gotta go to Kohl's on my break for a new shirt. Damnit!

12:27 PM #
The cute new gal just caught me playing with my stomach hair and said, "gross." So much for her thinking I'm cool.

12:48 PM #
I got this one: http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/mens/graphictees/crossescrests/PRD~621125/Levis+All+Seeing+Tee.jsp Who's not cool now!?

01:03 PM #
This shirt is so tight I can't breathe very well but it makes my arms look awesome! I think she noticed. Gonna do some pushups in the john.

06:14 PM #
Got home from work and Ann's all, "What's with the new t-shirt, Slim? Hot date tonight?" Then started laughing her ass off!!!!!

06:18 PM #
My daughters keep calling me a "situation" or something and laughing in their room. Don't know what it means but I'm sick of this crap.

06:22 PM #
Now Ann's calling me "The Big Situation" and all of them went out on the deck they were laughing so hard.

06:27 PM #
Screw this. Buncha bullcrap! Going to Chili's bar to cool off.