Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Dec 27 2010

02:11 PM #
@JennyMcCarthy Tiger Woods was a big fave! I'd never do that to Ann & the kids, but who could resist all those hot babes!

02:13 PM #
Super pumped to be helpin' out @JennyMcCarthy. She's such a sweetheart.

07:43 PM #
Found an old Tina's Burrito in back of the freezer behind the ice trays. Gonna fix it up "supreme" style. Monday could be alot worse.

09:18 PM #
Can freezer burn make you ill? Stomach hurts really bad. Tongue hurts almost worse. Should've waited for the burreet to cool off.

09:19 PM #
Heard Dave coming in the door and didn't want to share so I shoveled it in straight outta the microwave. Really hurtin all over.

09:51 PM #
Took a couple Pepcid AC. Didn't do anything. Nothing coming out the back end. Just so cramped up.

10:40 PM #
I just wish I could take a healthy crap so I could get some goddamn sleep.