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DadBoner - Sun Feb 20 2011

02:06 PM #
Things got pretty weird last night. First off, Me and Dave were waaayy to drunk. Shouldn't have had Ann over.

02:07 PM #
Tried to make Ann a porkchop sandwich. Put the coals on the grill and forgot to light them. For 2 hours.

02:09 PM #
Finally lit the coals. Forgot I did that, and they burned out. Got super steamed and knocked over the grill.

02:10 PM #
Dave said, "What did you do to my grill?!" I said, "suck it, retard." Kinda was showing off for Ann. But I just looked like a jerk.

02:11 PM #
Ann tried to smooth over the tension by saying, "so Dave, I guess you're gonna really miss Karl." She spilled the beans.

02:13 PM #
I had to tell Dave how I'm moving out in about a week. He completely flipped out. "How am I gonna find a new roommate? You screwed me!"

02:14 PM #
First off, Dave didn't have a roommate before. Ever. AND I wasn't paying rent. If anything he was freeloading off ME for booze and eats.

02:16 PM #
Before Ann left, she gave me a smooch and then gave Dave some look. After she walked out, he said, "bitch." It was go time.

02:17 PM #
Me and Dave must've screamed at each other for over and hour. Everything came out. The bad dumps, the tp usage. Everything.

02:21 PM #
I told him he'd be LUCKY to ever score a babe like Ann. And he better straighten up his act. Grossouts never go all the way.

02:22 PM #
Dave said I changed. How I used to be cool, but now I'm only about fancy cologne and diets like some flamer. Sue me for growing up.

02:24 PM #
I called him a know nothing slob. He punched the wall and stormed off to his mom's. Hope he stays there.

10:42 PM #
No sign of Dave. Gonna eat some Funyons and hit the sack. Can't stick to the diet today. Too stressed.