Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Mar 02 2011

11:40 AM #
Thank god for Wing Wednesday, you guys. Been stressed lately. Nothin takes the edge off like kickin back with some wings.

12:24 PM #
Just figured out that "Kool Aid Karl" means I'm fat. I thought it was because I like to drink alot. Really steamed.

12:25 PM #
My dumb daughters don't know anything. I'm a grown man with a grown man body. I don't get older, I get better. Not like women.

02:09 PM #
Family supper again tonight. I miss Paddy's, where people are nice to me. And they have $3 Long Islands. Maybe I should fake diarrhea.

02:11 PM #
What are my kids all wussies and jerks!? If only they could see Captain Karl in action, they'd know how cool I got since I moved out.

02:51 PM #
Maybe I should take the kids to Paddy's for lunch this weekend. Let 'em see how chillin' I am with the peeps there.

05:53 PM #
Already done with supper. Shoveled in my meatloaf and hit the bricks. Said I had some "work" to do. "Work" = $3 Long Islands at Paddy's.

05:55 PM #
My son wanted me to play some weird magic card game with him. Whatever happened to BASEBALL cards? This is America, not Weirdoville.

06:00 PM #
Oldest daughter kept making cracks about how I'm "winning." I don't know why but she cracked up like 50 times about it. Sick of this.