Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Mar 11 2011

11:27 AM #
Happy Friday to ya, you guys! Got me 2 Double Filet-O-Fishes. It was hard to take the bun off, but still so good. Fish is really healthy.

11:31 AM #
Nosey lady started some canned food drive for Japan. Idiot. They had an EARTHQUAKE, it's not like they turned into Ethiopia.

11:35 AM #
I told nosey lady if she wanted to send something to Japan, she should just send her prayers. I really shut her down with that one.

11:36 AM #
Who does she think she's gonna send heavy canned food to? She doesn't know anyone in Japan. And the postage would be through the roof!

11:38 AM #
I shipped a small box to Florida once, and it was like 30 bucks! Japan would AT LEAST be a hundred. She's out of her mind.

11:44 AM #
She should just send a check. Japanese people don't want our gross canned carrots. So insulting. They like stuff like sushi & noodles.

01:19 PM #
So far, nosey lady has collected a can of carrots, tomato soup, and some Hormel Chili. I might trade something for the Hormel. SO good.

01:20 PM #
I asked her if I could trade something on Monday. She said no. Stupid idiot. Japanese people probably HATE chili. So disrespectful.

01:22 PM #
If she sends the Hormel, it'll just go to waste. Wasting food is a sin. And I could make a mean coney dog with it. Good eatin', you guys.

01:23 PM #
I like to take Hormel Chili and really jazz it up with my own herbs and spices. That's the secret to Captain Karl's Coney Supremes.

01:25 PM #
I'm gettin that Hormel Chili, damnit. I don't care what she says. Right is right, you guys. Plus, the Japanese people will be offended.

03:22 PM #
Gettin outta here. Gotta go rush through supper with Ann so I can meet Al for some cold ones. I got that Friday night fever, you guys.

10:51 PM #
Just got home. Left my lights on at the last bar with Al. He already split. Had to call AAA to get a jump. Froze my keester off.

10:55 PM #
Thought the AAA guy was gonna give me a hard time about being boozed up. He didn't care. Bummed me a smoke, jumped me, and split.

10:57 PM #
Trying to thaw out. Shoulda got some food on the way home. Eatin Frank's Red Hot on Triscuits. Perty tasty though.