Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Mar 14 2011

12:44 PM #
Nosey lady just asked, "What's wrong, Karl?" It's Monday, I'm at work, you're talking to me, and I hate you. THAT'S what's wrong.

12:47 PM #
I brought in some corn to trade for the Hormel Chili in the canned food drive. Nosey lady still said no. Sick of this.

12:49 PM #
I might try to switch lables on the corn and chili. The cans are the same size. Gonna go do some recon on the donation box.

02:19 PM #
Nosey lady is about to go take her 5:30 crap break. (been timing it everyday) That's my window to pull the switch with the corn and chili.

02:20 PM #
I think she takes craps right before going home to save on tp. She's so cheap. I just do it to waste time. That's different.

02:23 PM #
I've got my glue and x-acto knife ready. Feelin really "covert ops" about the chili mission, you guys.

02:53 PM #
Got the labels switched. Looks pretty good. Spilled some glue on my pants though. Looks like a gross "you know what" stain.

03:08 PM #
Nosey lady was so busy paying attention to my fake "guy stain" that she didn't notice me put back the "chili." Sicko. Ha!

03:10 PM #
Off to Ann's for supper. Wait'll she hears about how I totally scammed the Hormel from the Japanese donation box! It's pretty badass.