Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Apr 04 2011

11:40 AM #
Super hungover this morning, you guys. Was jammin out to Beat It full blast. Hit a parked car. No dents, no scratches! No harm, no foul.

12:55 PM #
Went to take a cat nap on the toilet. Some grossout whizzed all over the seat. Now my Dockers are all pee pee stained.

01:50 PM #
Dave just called all freaking out because we crashed out and forgot to watch Wrestlemania yesterday. Apparently I paid for it!

01:51 PM #
I forgot even agreeing to that. Dave said I ordered it drunk the other night. It was 60 bucks! Super p.o.'d, you guys. Want to KILL Dave.

01:53 PM #
I don't even really like wrestling anymore. It's just not the same since Ric Flair left. Naitch! Woooo! The Dirtiest Player In The Game!

01:55 PM #
I could always relate to Ric Flair. Just a super cool guy with style who digs the babes. Real man's man. Don't make 'em like that no more.

01:58 PM #
Stylin, profilin, jet flyin, limosine ridin, kiss stealin, wheelin dealin, son of a gun! That's all anyone really wants to be.

02:20 PM #
These pee pants are really grossing me out. It's all dried now, but I still know the pee is there. Dried pee is still pee, you guys.

03:36 PM #
Told Ann I'd be late for supper cause I have to change my pee pants. She starting laughing and dropped the phone. I didn't get to explain!

03:37 PM #
There's a TON of ways to get pee on your pants, not just peeing your pants. Most people have had some sort of pee encounter.