Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jun 27 2011

09:15 AM #
This is definitely a multiple toilet nap kinda Monday, you guys. Could sure go for a gun in my mouth.

09:21 AM #
If the week was only Monday and Tuesday, over and over again, I'm 100% sure I'd gladly kill myself.

09:30 AM #
Feelin just awful. Lunch break. Gonna go drink a couple cold ones in the Sebring at the 7-Eleven parking lot and catch a quick snooze.

11:49 AM #
Woke up in the Sebring soaked in sweat. Got in hot water for takin a long lunch break. Told nosey lady I had to change a flat.

11:53 AM #
Just because a diarrhea excuse always works, it doesn't mean you should use it everytime. Variety is the spice of lies.

02:35 PM #
Really draggin. Didn't eat lunch except for those 2 beers. Need a solid supper. Maybe Chili's. It's still healthy if you order real careful.

02:47 PM #
Holy crap! Top shelf margs?! What a great value, you guys. Wonder if you have to have 2 people? http://t.co/jDwWTpS

02:50 PM #
It's the Chili's MargarEATathon! Ha! Man, that is genius. Super pumped, you guys.

02:52 PM #
Was really feelin down today, wantin to blow my brains out. Then, out of nowhere, Chili's saves the day. Thanks, Chili's.

02:55 PM #
Chili's should do an ad that says, "Hey, don't shove a gun in your mouth, you can always go to Chili's for good times and great value."

03:01 PM #
Gonna swing home and clean up for Chili's. Got some bad b.o. from snoozin in the Sebring. Gotta be fresh for the MargarEATathon.