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DadBoner - Fri Jul 01 2011

11:07 AM #
F.R.I.DAY in the USA! F.R.I.DAY in the USA, yeah yeah! FRIDAY IN THE USAAAAY! Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

11:09 AM #
Pretty banged up. Got a couple variety packs of microbrews for the big celebration. Me and Dave decided we had to try 'em all a few times.

11:18 AM #
I'm all for big flavor fancy beers like IPA's. But it must stand for Incredible Pain Afterwards. Feels like my brain is bleeding.

11:42 AM #
Filled up half a cart with hot dog buns at the grocery store. People'll be BEGGIN for 'em when they run out on the 4th. I'll be THE man.

12:07 PM #
Dave had a great idea last night, we should get an above ground pool for the back parking lot. Think we could git r done.

12:17 PM #
Really gotta get patched up for the weekend. Got some Funyons out of my trunk. Might eat 'em in the john and catch some zzz's.

12:57 PM #
Nothin like a nice Funyon snack on the toilet, followed by a quick nap to really make a man feel refreshed, you guys.

01:03 PM #
Might sneak outta work early. Gotta hit the store again from more supplies. There's no such thing as "too much" for the 4th celebration.

01:05 PM #
If you run out of cold ones on the 4th, there should be a law that you have to cut off your peener in shame like the Asians do.

09:03 PM #
Me & Dave cracked open some cold ones for the 4th to kick off the weekend right. Then Dave "sharted" his pants, and kicked it off wrong.

09:04 PM #
FYI, "sharted" is a fart and #2 at the same time, except the s-word instead of #2.

09:06 PM #
Gonna lay down the law. No more microbrews for Dave. I don't have time to get out the wet dry vac everytime he has a few IPA's.

09:09 PM #
This is disgusting. Had to pull my shirt over my nose. Goin outside for some fresh air. No underpants and gym shorts?! C'mon Dave.

09:11 PM #
No undies and mesh shorts is a dangerous combo in the first place. #1: Peener could get out. #2: The previously mentioned "shart" situation.

09:44 PM #
Now Dave is just acting like nothing happened. He crapped his pants and it got on the couch! That's where I eat supper! NO class.

09:49 PM #
It's not like I never had a backdoor accident on some furniture before. I'm human. But I've always apologized every time. I've got manners.

10:31 PM #
I'm hittin the sack. Looks like I'll be eatin supper over the sink more than half the time now. Nice work with the b.m. on the couch, Dave.