Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jul 11 2011

11:10 AM #
This sunburn is killin' me. Hurts to move. Ken said, "Hey, Kool Aid! Get some sun there, buddy?" Wasn't necessary to hurt my feelings too.

11:15 AM #
People can laugh at me now, but when this base sunburn turns into a rich cocoa tan, the babes'll swoon like I'm Billy Dee Williams.

12:08 PM #
No one makes fun of Guy Fieri when he gets a little extra sun. Havin a rich cocoa tan is just part of the bold flavor lifestyle, you guys.

12:19 PM #
People always say how Fonzie is the king of cool, but I bet if he saw Guy Fieri comin, he'd be shakin in his shoes.

12:37 PM #
If Guy Fieri ever teamed up with Papa John, they'd pretty much be unstoppable.

02:53 PM #
Just a tip: If you're driving a convertible, a backwards Kangol is a must have for the summertime, you guys.