Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Jul 13 2011

11:40 AM #
Happy Wing Wednesday, you guys. Watched Platoon last night so I had a dozen Asian Zing wings. Was in the mood to take out some Viet Cong.

11:47 AM #
Forgot how Charlie Sheen was in Platoon. Guess he's pretty screwed up now. He acts like a 'Nam vet that actually got the money they deserve.

11:51 AM #
If you actually kicked ass in 'Nam, you have an excuse to act crazy. Goin' bananas from gettin rich on 2 1/2 Men is just pathetic.

12:00 PM #
Dave likes that 2 1/2 Men program. Kinda think it's a bag of horsecrap. I'm more of a King of Queens man, myself.

12:03 PM #
Just like most pieces of crap, all Charlie Sheen needs is one good ass kicking in a parking lot and he'd probably be fine.

12:05 PM #
I'd like to see Charlie Sheen pull his b.s. in a real midwestern bar full of real "manly men." They'd stomp that sissy's mudhole sideways.

12:16 PM #
If Charlie Sheen dies, no one's gonna care 'cause he's a rude piece of crap. I'd laugh my butt off! Hope it happens soon. Got 5 bucks on it.

12:19 PM #
Dear God, Please make Charlie Sheen die in the next month so I can win 5 bucks from Dave. Love, Karl. Amen.

12:37 PM #
What kind of world do we live in where Dalton from Roadhouse is dead and Charlie Sheen is still alive, you guys?

12:40 PM #
I heard Charlie Sheen lives with 2 prostitutes. Real men don't have to pay for action in the bedroom. They score 'cause of their moves.

12:44 PM #
Charlie Sheen seems like the kind of guy who'd be into Black On Asian Anal Teens, and be mostly interested in the monster black peeners.

02:06 PM #
Well, I waited an hour. Is Charlie Sheen dead yet? Maybe from a Ferrari/cocaine/hooker orgy accident?

02:22 PM #
Went to ask Nosey Lady a question. Smelled like she just cut a fresh, nasty one. Started gagging into my shirt. Asked if I was sick. Idiot.