Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Jul 18 2011

10:59 AM #
Started the week off wrong with the Bacon Cheddar Ranch Tendercrisp from BK. It's for a limited time though and I didn't want to miss out.

11:12 AM #
Who gets fries at Burger King when they have onion rings with that Zesty dippin sauce? My Momma's boy son, that's who. So embarrassing.

11:15 AM #
Treated my son to lunch at BK to make up for not going to Harry Potter with him. Don't know why it was big deal when I'm not into that crap.

11:19 AM #
You shouldn't spend time with another person if you're not a fan of the activity they want to do. That's just like lying, which is wrong.

11:23 AM #
If my son wants to do things together, maybe he should get into things that I enjoy. Like baseball, sports, golf, action films, or steak.

11:28 AM #
Also, my son dips his Chicken Tenders in ketchup. That's what girls do. And it's probably the stupidest thing I can think of. Makes me sad.

11:50 AM #
My son kept complaining that "Daddy's car smells bad." I had a rough weekend OK?! You should be used to urine smell, Mr. Bedwetter.

01:47 PM #
I'm pretty sure I'd be Father of The Year material if I had kids and a wife I liked to be around all the time. They're just such a snooze.

04:21 PM #
It makes me mad that people still get Domino's pizza when Papa John's is so money. Everyone can't have good taste, I guess.

04:23 PM #
Since I already took down a big BK lunch, I figured I'd get the John's Favorite from Papa's and start fresh in the health zone tomorrow.

04:27 PM #
Dominos should bring back the Noid to remind everyone how crappy everything about Dominos is.

04:31 PM #
Papa John's should start an ad campaign where, "Papa's In The House!" but, "Domino's is in the toilet!"