Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jul 23 2011

12:48 PM #
Kept it cool all night with 'Cardi & Gatorade, the responsible summer bev. Keeps you hydrated AND keeps the party rockin until you blackout.

12:52 PM #
Captain Karl here for 'Cardi & Gatorade. 'Cardi & Gatorade; you won't remember much after 10pm, that's the 'Cardi & Gatorade promise.

12:55 PM #
"Woke up this morning and started back in with the 'Cardi & Gatorade, and boy am I hammered already again, you guys." -Captain Karl

12:59 PM #
I'd get the boat out if it wasn't so crappy today. I'd drive the shit outta that thing right now. 'Cardi & Gatorade got me feelin' GOOD!

01:04 PM #
Don't think Ann still loves me anymore.

01:06 PM #
So what if she wants to be like that. I'M the cool one in the relationship. I'm THE man. Dave is CRANKIN some .38 Special so who cares.

01:28 PM #
If Ann wants to make more of an effort to spend time together, that's fine by me. But I can't always be the king of romance, I'm busy.

01:31 PM #
And another thing, Ann needs to give out the sex more. I'm a macho man who needs the lovin' 24/7. She doesn't understand me.

01:34 PM #
My special recipe for 'Cardi & Gatorade: Take a big tumbler, add ice. Dump a bunch of 'Cardi & Gatorade in it. Pound accordingly.

01:39 PM #
Dave's passed out on the floor. Fine by me. I can keep it rockin' all night by myself. Might head out to Paddy's later. Gotta do MY thing.