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DadBoner - Mon Jul 25 2011

11:40 AM #
Because no one fessed up to the broken toilet that I broke, now we have to ask for a key from nosey lady to use the john. What a nightmare.

11:48 AM #
I'm on a special diet, I have to use the john more than most people. It's like being handicapped. I need 24/7 access to the toilet!

11:50 AM #
I had the Tendercrisp Salad from BK for lunch. Sure, it's mega healthy with big texture, but I'll probably have a few bathroom emergencies.

11:53 AM #
I can't be bothered to ask nosey lady for a key everytime I have to make in the toilet. She'll think I just go in there to hang out all day.

11:58 AM #
Plus, nosey lady'll know how long I've been in the john when I give the key back. Sometimes I like a quick snooze after a #2. Who doesn't?

12:22 PM #
If it comes down to me filling my pants with stool, or kickin down the locked door to the john, I'm kickin that door down like Steven Segal.

12:41 PM #
If anyone got in Steve Segal's way when he was tryin go take a big #2, he'd probably break their arm. That's perty much a guarantee.

02:18 PM #
I knew this would happen. It's way past time for my 5pm BM and nosey lady isn't anywhere around with the john key. Stomach really hurts.

02:55 PM #
Well, I did it. I went #2 behind the dumpster at work with some Burger King napkins. Is this what my life has come to? Sick of this.

03:08 PM #
Filing a complaint. A grown man shouldn't have to poop behind a dumpster, especially in this heat. Looked like a hobo had been there too.