Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jul 30 2011

11:00 AM #
Why do we waste so much mexican talent on washing dishes when they should be making beer? Stay thirsty, you guys.

11:03 AM #
Yesterday, National Chicken Wing Day was off the hook! As far as today goes, is it possible to crap your lungs out? Stay thirsty, you guys.

11:07 AM #
When you're laid off, everyday is Saturday. Doesn't feel as special. Stay thirsty, you guys.

11:09 AM #
I'd like to see that Dos Equis guy pull his better than me rich guy crap at any of the bars around here. He'd get his old face smashed in.

11:24 AM #
There isn't enough Viagra in the world for that Dos Equis guy to put his peener to all those babes he hangs out with. What a rich hog.

11:26 AM #
The Dos Equis guy is such a stupid concept. A rich MEXICAN? Shut up and make me an interesting enchilada, Tito.

11:32 AM #
He is...the most interesting 60 year old busboy in the world. Can I take your dirty dishes, my friends? Ha!

11:36 AM #
No offense to mexicans. I love Taco Bell, Speedy Gonzales, and the song Lowrider as much as anyone, but they ain't the most interesting.

11:40 AM #
If you wanna sell brewskis, you need a pitchman like Bob Uecker, not some old beaner who should be sellin you fruit out of his pickup.

12:22 PM #
Gotta apologize for those mexican comments about 'em bein losers. Had a few cold ones for breakfast. You lose time when you're unemployed.

01:09 PM #
To be fair, mexican jokes aren't really racist. We never made 'em slaves or anything. AND we let 'em freeload off the USA.

01:15 PM #
If anyone should apologize for everyone makin mexican jokes, it should be Cheech & Chong. They really told it how it is in beanville.

01:23 PM #
Why aren't there any good mexican rockers? Nobody likes that accordion crap or 90% of Santana songs. No wonder Richie Valens killed himself.

03:59 PM #
I just don't feel like much of a man when I'm not goin to work. Dave just farted out pure death. Sick of this.

04:05 PM #
Really regretting buyin that case of frozen White Castle cheeseburgs. Dave is mega destroying the living room with his molten rear end.