Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Jul 31 2011

09:23 AM #
I feel so empty without a job. Wonder what Ann's up to? She probably could use a call from ol' Karl. Really give her a thrill.

03:11 PM #
Dave's watchin wrestling. This Christian guy's a real load. The Triple H guy seems perty badass though. Thinkin about growin a rockin pony.

03:29 PM #
Whoa, this R Truths guy is one terrifying black guy. Wouldn't wanna run into him at a liquor store at night. Wrestling's gettin pretty real.

03:30 PM #
R Truths looks like the kinda guy who'd steal your car stereo in broad daylight.

03:46 PM #
Seriously, this Christian guy sucks the big one. If they were in Flint, R Truths woulda stabbed him by now.

03:55 PM #
It almost makes me sad that I haven't thought about growin a ponytail by now. I'd probably have piles of babes all over my jock.

04:56 PM #
Gonna start eatin alot of Jello. Heard it makes your hair grow faster. The quicker I get to a ponytail, the quicker I get to Babe City, USA.

05:01 PM #
A rockin ponytail isn't just about looks, it's about confidence. A ponytail man probably gets into a ton of 3way situations, you guys.

05:08 PM #
Still watching wresting with Dave. This CM Punk guy looks like a real deal badass mofo. The Cult of Per-son-ali-ty! Such a rockin jam.

05:32 PM #
Holy crap, Dave showed me some more CM Punk stuff. He'd give Dalton from Roadhouse a run for his money. Totally awesome.

06:07 PM #
Now that Christian loser is interrupting the match between R Truths & Cowboy Orton's kid. Where's the CM Punk guy? This sucks.

06:15 PM #
Dave's watchin Platinum Hits now. Dave likes some serious crap, but that Jewel gal sure has some juicy bombs, you guys.

08:21 PM #
If Guy Fieri had a ponytail, he'd probably blow Kevin Costner out of the water for People Magazine's sexiest man of the year.

08:31 PM #
Thinkin about gettin an earring to tide me over 'til my pony grows in. Dave said he'll do it. Gonna have a few shots Jim first.

08:38 PM #
Numbin my ear up with ice. Man, they're gonna flip when I come back to work with this cool ass earring like Guy's. Real bad boy.

08:56 PM #
Oh my god, Dave only pierced it halfway. Needle sticking out. He started to get sick and had to barf. Hurts like a bastard.

08:57 PM #
Just shoved it through myself, stabbed the needle into my face. Guess that's the high price of cool.

08:58 PM #
Slight problem, no earring for the hole. Goddamnit!!!!!

09:01 PM #
Dave thinks Crazy Cooter probably has an earring. Headin over there. Bleedin kinda bad, but it'll clot up no problem.