Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Aug 02 2011

11:40 AM #
Thinkin about callin' up Ann. See if she notices my 'rang. Really make her feel bad about all the bad boy stuff she's missin out on.

11:55 AM #
Wonder if they still make Hero cologne? It was just such a classic scent, you guys.

11:57 AM #
Man, babes used to ape crap for Hero cologne. Really takes me back. http://t.co/lL2yIQY

12:11 PM #
Young dude'll never learn how to drive a babe wild with that fruity boy band cologne crap. Chicks need a real Hero. Hero cologne.

12:43 PM #
I don't skimp on cologne. Most people say it's too ethnic to wear alot, but that's just racist. Smellin good is for all colors.

12:45 PM #
Fellas, don't be afraid to spray some 'logne downtown. You never know when things might get romantic with a babe. Gotta be ready.

01:25 PM #
Just saw that Miracle Whip commercial where a guy marries some dumb sow who hates MDub. She looks like a mayo with a spoon kinda gal.

01:32 PM #
Hating Miracle Whip is just a sign of hating anything different. "I hate chipotle ranch! I hate blacks! I hate dijon!" It's a warning sign.

01:46 PM #
Never marry a gal who bans stuff like Miracle Whip, peanuts, or pop. She'll suck your family's soul and turn your son into a sissy.

01:52 PM #
Ann said I can stop by for supper tonight. I can't wait for her to see my 'rang. She never wanted me to get one. Bet she'll change her tune.