Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Aug 13 2011

11:11 AM #
Don't know if I can face Vernon on Monday, you guys.

11:15 AM #
Alot of brothers have those long hair dread things. From behind they look like caramel honeys with big booties. Disaster.

12:34 PM #
So, me and Dave drank Hennessy until midnight, when Vernon said to meet us at the club. Black folks start the party late I guess. Like work.

12:36 PM #
Showed up at the club about 12:30, pretty bombed. Everyone seemed in a me so horny vibe. Got right into it. All black booties look the same.

12:59 PM #
Vernon said to "get my groove on." Didn't want to disappoint him. "Got busy" on his "homeboy" named "Darryl." So embarrassed.

01:06 PM #
Dave freaked out, screaming, "KARL IS THIS A BLACK FAG BAR? ARE YOU A FAG FOR BLACKS!?" That's when I puked up Hennessy from a panic attack.

01:18 PM #
I've pretty much decided I can't bring Dave around my soul brother pals anymore. He needs to learn screaming "BLACK FAG BAR" isn't cool.

01:21 PM #
Me and Dave got hauled out. The bouncer hit Dave in the stomach for the "black fag" comment. He needed it. What an ass.

01:25 PM #
"Black fags" or not, you can't call queers "fags" regardless of skin color or whether they're gay or not. It's 2011, you guys.

01:27 PM #
If anyone is a fag, it's Dave. Not that it's cool to say that. Whenever you feel the need to say "fag," try "jerk." Works just fine.

01:29 PM #
Sure, I might have puked up orange pop and Hennessy all over Vernon's friend Darryl's back when I dirty danced him, but I ain't a homophobe.

01:45 PM #
Gonna drink 2 of these 24oz Mike's Harder Punch mangos and try to forget the whole thing. Bold flavors take away the pain away.

11:15 PM #
Mike's Harder Punch mango really takes me to an island paradise of adventure. Might puke there, but it's a nice vacay.