Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Aug 15 2011

11:21 AM #
Gonna hang out in the john most of the day. Vernon won't talk to me. Just looks away and sucks his teeth. Hope he doesn't shoot me.

11:25 AM #
When you get a black co-worker steamed, there's about a 5% chance of getting shot. Not a high percentage, but it's there.

11:29 AM #
Eatin a dozen BK Minis. Should guarantee most of my afternoon is spent on the toilet so I can relax.

12:32 PM #
Might get Vernon a gift card to Red Lobster as an "I'm sorry." Red Lobster's for the seafood brother in you.

02:37 PM #
I think I'm having an anxiety attack over the whole Vernon thing. Heart's racing, diarrhea won't stop. I'm such a stupid idiot sometimes.

02:39 PM #
I coulda just been chill and Vernon woulda thought I was cool. Now I'm just some dumb honkey who pukes at the club like a clown.

03:04 PM #
Sometimes I worry that I'm gonna die alone in that dump with Dave, without ever having any cool black friends or anything.

03:06 PM #
I got this damn earring! No one cares. I dress cool. No one cares. I'm a top notch cook. No one cares. Sick of this. No one appreciates me.

03:09 PM #
Might be time to start looking out more for numero uno, you guys. I just try too hard to do the right thing and it never works.

03:10 PM #
Sick of this stupid job. I never get to take my boat out. I never get to go golfing. I never get to do anything good. What's the damn point?

03:12 PM #
Sick of bein pushed around. People still call me "BK" at work because I crapped outside behind the dumpster. It was an emergency!

03:15 PM #
I'm gettin out of here. Screw this. Screw Vernon if he doesn't want to be my friend. Let him shoot me. I don't care. I'm goin to Paddy's.