Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Aug 16 2011

12:49 PM #
Left Vernon a TWENTY DOLLAR Red Lobster gift card on his desk this morning. No thank you. Blacks are too cool to say thanks like the Fonz.

12:51 PM #
If Fonzie was black, his coolness would have been really off the hook. Probably woulda had a few kids though.

12:52 PM #
If you're ever worried about a black guy shooting you, just give 'em a gift card to Red Lobster so you can get on with your life.

01:00 PM #
Need to get my life together. Goin to drink a few cold ones in the Sebring. Need time to think. Might start smoking again. I need to relax.

03:41 PM #
Made it through another day without Vernon shooting me. The Red Lobster gift card must've done the trick. Might start carrying one on me.

03:44 PM #
All this Red Lobster talk has me craving some bold flavors from the 7 seas. Red Lob is more of a fancy weekend treat, but I earned it.

03:47 PM #
Holy crap, it's Crabfest at Red Lobster! (only for a limited time). Gotta take advantage. Might even treat my first mate, Dave.

03:49 PM #
When Red Lobster does it big with Crabfest, you don't think. Even if you have to kick a cripple out of your way to do it, you get there.