Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Aug 18 2011

01:03 PM #
Just ran into Vernon in the john. Let one rip while I was takin a leak. He said, "Ew, you nasty." Think he might be warming up to me.

01:05 PM #
If it didn't refer to my Wendy's beefs, I think "Nasty Karl" would be a pretty cool sounding street name. "You don't mess with Nasty Karl."

01:32 PM #
Just realized that Wendy's value menu has cost about the same since 1989. Something's up with Wendy's, you guys.

02:44 PM #
I can't wrap my mind around how Wendy's value menu has had the same prices for over 20 years. Nothing else is like that. Mind is blown.

02:46 PM #
I gotta get inside the back of a Wendy's and snoop around. Maybe they're all drug fronts. Dave Thomas coulda been the white Pablo Escobar.

02:48 PM #
The secrets about Wendy's that Dave Thomas took to his grave must be shocking. I guess we'll never know the true Wendy's story.

03:01 PM #
Anything that costs the same now as it did in 1989 is shady. I'm lookin at you, Wendy's. You either sell drugs or are in bed with Uncle Sam.

03:03 PM #
How many people did Dave Thomas have murdered to keep his prices eternally low? It has to be in the hundreds, you guys.

03:09 PM #
Can't be that hard to sneak into a Wendy's office. I can barely get some Tito to take my order when I'm standing right in front of him.