Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Aug 20 2011

01:05 PM #
Yesterday was a nightmare. Tigers game was all jam packed. Musta been because Guy Fieri was there. Had to scalp tickets.

01:07 PM #
Forked over 300 bucks to some buffoon named "Peanut." Told us they were field level tickets. Turned out to be standing room.

01:08 PM #
Peanut took our bread and hit the bricks on a crappy girl's 10 Speed. Probably went to score some dope. Friggin Detroit animal.

01:12 PM #
Couldn't find Guy Fieri anywhere at the Tigers game. He musta been in a box with all his fat cat Triple D buddies, livin the good life.

01:13 PM #
There's no way they'd let a superstar of the bold flavor world like Guy Fieri sit in normal seats at a big league game. He'd get mobbed.

01:22 PM #
We decided to just enjoy the game anyway, even if we couldn't meet Guy. Buncha smokin babes in the standing room section. Raar!

01:25 PM #
Dave was ogling some babe's cans when her boyfriend saw him checkin out the goods. Got really steamed. Told him to "take a hike."

01:27 PM #
Dave said, "Hey, free country. If your gal doesn't want me peepin on her hogs, then she shouldn't have 'em on display." Wrong answer.

03:38 PM #
Passed out. So exhausted. So anyway, Dave got kicked out of the Tigers game after that chick punched his balls and called him a pervert.

03:43 PM #
If there's one thing that'll get you kicked out of a baseball game it's grabbing your sore swollen groin while a babe calls you a pervert.