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DadBoner - Tue Aug 23 2011

11:41 AM #
Looks like Vernon never showed up today. Hope he's not dead. Sadly, sometimes blacks pass away early in life due to health problems.

11:46 AM #
I try to keep fit but I slip from time to time. Last night I ordered late night Domino's just to watch the pizza tracker. Such a blast.

11:48 AM #
Watching the Domino's pizza tracker makes you feel like you're part of the action. Pie's pretty average, the the technology is off the hook.

11:51 AM #
Might give Vernon a ring. Make sure he's just chillin' and not really sick or anything. We had a falling out, but a pal's a pal.

12:26 PM #
No answer from Vernon. Gonna try back in 5. Make sure my main man's ok.

01:31 PM #
Called Vernon about 6 times. No answer. Gonna wait 'til nosey lady leaves her desk and try to get his address. Go do some recon.

01:52 PM #
Nosey Lady caught me at her desk lookin' for Vernon's address. Told her I was lookin' for Anti-Diarrhea medicine. Shut her down right away.

01:55 PM #
Got the address though. Told nosey lady I had to run out for Imodium AD. Headed to Vernon's. Don't worry buddy, Captain Karl's comin'.

01:56 PM #
The best time to fake diarrhea at work is with about 2 hrs left in the day. Saves a sick day, and you still get that half day feeling.

02:54 PM #
No sign of Vernon at his crib. A neighbor yelled at me for looking in his windows. Had to make a break for it. Didn't want to get shot.

02:56 PM #
Stopped home for a root beer float. Told work I had an accident in the car. A root beer float is worth people thinkin you messed yourself.

02:58 PM #
Just heard about the big quake. Hope we can join together at least as much as we did for the Asians. Everyone's gonna need to pitch in.

03:01 PM #
It's ok to halfass helpin out other countries when they have a natural disaster. But this is the USA. Let's roll, you guys.

03:02 PM #
As soon as a I finish this second root beer float, I'm gonna work on a food donation box for the Virginians. It's goin down so smooth.

06:49 PM #
Can't wait to shove it everyone's face at work how I made this food donation box for the VA quake. Show 'em how I care better than them.

06:51 PM #
Those poor Virginia hillbillies must be a wreck. All their shanties are probably destroyed. They ain't so bright down there. Glad to help.

06:59 PM #
Gonna make a big pot of Woppy Karl's Special Spaghetti to celebrate helpin the filthy Virginia homeless quake victims. Bold herbs & spices.

07:16 PM #
When you help the less fortunate, the biggest reward is being able to hold your head high, knowing that you're better than everyone.