Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Aug 30 2011

12:41 PM #
Had the California Whopper from BK for lunch. It's only for a limited time so I had to take advantage, you guys. Bold Hollywood flavors.

12:43 PM #
When I first heard that the California Whopper combined bacon, swiss, and guac, well, I knew I was right on board. It's just my style.

12:50 PM #
I never thought the locals at a MI Burger King could ever pull off that California taste, but I was sure wrong. Feel like hittin some waves.

01:00 PM #
Don't know if folks around here'll be able to wrap their heads around the California Whopper. It's more for gourmet connoisseurs.

01:04 PM #
Wonder if Guy Fieri tried the California Whopper yet? Probably a buncha times. I can just picture him, takin that first outta bounds bite.

01:12 PM #
I guess if you're a broke lowlife or some sorta sissy baby who can't eat a whole sandwich, good news, BK makes a California Whopper Jr. too.

01:56 PM #
Just finished up my letter to Penthouse Forum. Think it's soundin pretty good. Not too raunchy, just a little something for the imagination.

02:00 PM #
Dear Penthouse Forum, I know this will sound unbelievable, and I don't think I'd believe it either if I wasn't writing it.

02:01 PM #
I few ticks back, I was groovin heavy with this dream babe named Brenda. (this was before I got married and all that crap) Brenda had the...

02:06 PM #
...3rd biggest gazongas in class, and we were hot 'n heavy. Time went by and we went our separate ways when I got married and crap. When...

02:07 PM #
...things cooled off with my old lady, I was left high and dry for action. But then, my man Dave ran into Brenda at the bar, and said her...

02:08 PM #
...cans were still lookin righteous. Brenda asked what I was up too and said we should rendezvous at a bash she was throwing. Brats, cold...

02:10 PM #
...ones, top shelf margs, the works. Of course I was game and we headed over the next day. The party was in full gear, but I got all...

02:11 PM #
...nasty from doing the worm on the dance floor. Guess it got Brenda hot and bothered and she asked me back to her private room for a...

02:12 PM #
...little show and tell. She went to work on my body immediately, taking my shirt off and my jim jammer got ready to rock. That's when...

02:15 PM #
...Brenda's slammin chest beefers came out and I was goin wild like you wouldn't believe. They were hot and juicy with all the fixins. I...

02:16 PM #
...went in for the big grab on her double gulps, and she was insane with carnal desires. Unfortunately, that's when Dave busted in and...

02:19 PM #
...interrupted the xxx action, so we never went all the way. I'm sure I'll see Brenda again some day, but until then, I'm just gonna have...

02:21 PM #
...too keep warm at night with the memory of Brenda's breastos supreme. Keep it rockin' Penthouse and I will too. -Captain Karl