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DadBoner - Wed Aug 31 2011

11:33 AM #
Happy Wing Wednesday, you guys. Had 9 Caribbean Jerk & 9 Blazin. Took a whizz after and now my sack's on fire.

11:35 AM #
BW3s should have a something on their menu that says, "WARNING: Do not touch your sack after Blazin Wings." Maybe have gloves in the john.

12:03 PM #
Last night, Dave said that the Penthouse Forum letters are made up. Idiot. Like you can just make up that erotic stuff if you didn't do it.

12:17 PM #
I gotta figure out how to get my Penthouse Forum letter into the hands of the big wigs there. Wish I knew someone in the adult industry.

12:32 PM #
Found the address. Might have some pals all send my Forum letter in for better odds. Penthouse Magazine PO Box 420235 Palm Coast, FL 32142

12:36 PM #
I think maybe if I send an old pic of Brenda when her cans were still young and juicy like the Penthouse guys crave, that might help too.

01:35 PM #
My man veggies are still on fire from that Blazin wing sauce. I'd do a work sink sack scrub down, but last time it was a disaster.

03:42 PM #
Got home tonight and Dave was all spruced up. Said he's goin on a date. I Hope she REALLY likes Brut cologne.

03:45 PM #
Dave's actin all weird and won't tell me who his date is with. Probably a lie like his last "date" when I found him passed out in Taco Bell.

03:55 PM #
Dave doesn't know how to act on a date anyway. You can't just go through an Arby's drive-thru and boink out your peener. Gotta show class.

03:57 PM #
When I entertain a babe, I do it right; holdin doors, paying, steaks, great convos, NICE smellin goods (not Brut). The works.

04:00 PM #
If Dave can't tell me who his date's with, I can't tell him he still has the tag on his cargo shorts. Enjoy your night, "St. John's Bay."

08:39 PM #
It's a nice night at the pad with no Dave. Made a batch of Hormel Chili (with my special herbs & spices) and a few cold ones. Nothin better.

08:44 PM #
Wonder how Dave's hot "date" is going? If I know Dave, he's probably lyin in a ditch somewhere with a jack mag, cryin 'bout his peener . Ha!

08:48 PM #
Thinkin about gettin my own pad. Made a #2 with the door open. It's so luxurious when aren't confined in a restroom cage. Livin the dream!