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DadBoner - Thu Sep 01 2011

11:25 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

11:59 AM #
Dave never came home last night. Kinda worried. No way his "date" went well. He probably blew it, got depressed, and crawled in a dumpster.

12:09 PM #
Brenda just called to ask if I've heard from Dave today. Weird. Wonder if she set him up with one of her friends and it went bad?

01:17 PM #
Dave's trashed outside of my work in the parking lot!

01:43 PM #
Kinda steamed at Dave, you guys.

01:44 PM #
Dave is out of his mind drunk. He said he went on date with Brenda and feels really bad about lying to me. I guess it didn't go so well.

01:47 PM #
He got all teared up and mumbly like Stan Laurel. Said he couldn't resist Brenda's cans once he got a look and asked her out to Big Boy.

01:50 PM #
Dave said he only brought $5 and couldn't pay. Brenda got all up in arms about it because she only had a twenty to last her for the week.

01:54 PM #
Dave said he pounded a half pint of Popov to calm his nerves before the date, so he was a mess. He knew things weren't going well...

01:57 PM #
...so he went in to grab her "juicy lucys" and Brenda freaked. You can't just go for a babe's cans in a booth at Big Boy, you guys.

01:59 PM #
Dave said he had to crap and just ditched out the door. Left Brenda high and dry with the bill, but forgot his keys in the booth.

02:02 PM #
Dave thinks Brenda probably has his Skylark. He went and blew his 5 bucks on malt liquor and walked around all night, not wantin to face me.

02:04 PM #
I put Dave in the Sebring to sleep it off. He's a wreck. I feel sorry for him. Hate that he lied to me, but that just means he's insecure.

02:05 PM #
If he just would've been honest, I would've told Dave that Brenda would never waste her time on a sack of crap like him. Save his feelings.

02:12 PM #
And, let's be honest. Brenda probably just went out with Dave to make me jealous. I'm Captain Friggin' Karl. Bad Boy City, USA.

02:14 PM #
I'm not gonna let some haggard old broad from high school come between me and my sack of crap buddy, Dave. I already had them cans.

02:16 PM #
Dave is my friend. And friends stick together, you guys. First thing after work, we're going to get his ride back from that sow.