Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Sep 11 2011

01:01 PM #
Really draggin. I feel like I drank about a thousand beers yesterday, you guys.

02:01 PM #
I wish Dave understood that running the sink doesn't cover up the backdoor explosions caused by his Tina's Burrito binge. Tryin to eat here.

02:09 PM #
There's nothin worse than tryin to eat a nice bowl of chili while hearin another man tear his rear end to shreds with a violent release.

02:13 PM #
When Dave goes in for an extended stinky he brings his Walkman and listens to his Whitesnake cassette like that covers up the shame.

02:18 PM #
9/11. Never forget. Truly a day of patriotism. I'd personally like to raise a toast to all of the fallen Americans. Let's roll, you guys.

02:21 PM #
If you're not gettin blackout drunk today for the USA, you should just move your commie butt to Mexico. That's what I think. We'll prevail.

02:23 PM #
God bless this goddamn country. I'm so proud of you guys. WE'LL kick the shit out of you if you mess with us.

02:26 PM #
I wish there was some other bastards to shoot the faces off today. Coulda showed it during the Lions game. WE earned that.

03:31 PM #
May the eagles soar to the heavens today with the grace of God for the USA forever, you guys.