Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Wed Sep 14 2011

11:35 AM #
Happy Wing Wednesday, you guys. Went for 24 Mango Habs. 12 for now. 12 for later. Really make everyone jealous at work around 4:30.

11:44 AM #
Last night's Food Network demo taping was a disaster. Dave kept pointing the camera at my crotch and saying, "What's cookin' Karl?"

11:48 AM #
Dave doesn't know anything about chasing dreams. He's a real low life. Made me so mad I threw my beer at him and he dropped the camera.

11:50 AM #
That camera was vintage. Taped straight to VHS. So convenient. All this crap now makes it so hard to enjoy your memories right away.

02:16 PM #
Dave called, he's been watching my crotchy Food Network demo all day, cracking up. Wants to send it to America's Funniest Home Videos.

02:24 PM #
If AFHV shows a video of me making Bologna Salad while Dave makes fun of my crotch, I'll make him not be alive anymore.

02:37 PM #
If you've ever been an assclown on America's Funniest Home Videos, you might as well check in your cool card and forget about your life.

04:20 PM #
Dave hid my Bologna Salad crotch video. Said he thinks he could win AFHV with it. Won't give it back unless I come up with some "bread."

04:25 PM #
Who calls money, "bread?" Who does Dave think he is? Some brother on Good Times?