Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Sep 27 2011

11:38 AM #
I'd have to say that my favorite food is anything that's, "piled high to perfection."

01:03 PM #
New single mom moved in to our building yesterday. She's got a little boy who had on a Lion's jersey. Might have to make a connection.

01:05 PM #
Always wanted a son who wasn't like mine. Kinda like the big brother program, but without all the paperwork.

01:06 PM #
Might have to make up one of my special dishes to bring over as a welcome tonight. Single moms are always hard up for eats.

01:09 PM #
Give a single mom a hot meal, play some catch with her kid, don't smack her around like her ol' man used to, and she's all yours, you guys.

01:18 PM #
When I show up at single mom's door with double cologne, pony rockin, earring, a hot dish like my Captain Carlos' Enchiladas Especial...

01:19 PM #
...and Van Halen's "Everybody Wants Some" blaring out of our pad to let her know I'm the neighborhood bad boy hero, new mom is gonna...

01:20 PM #
...lose her mind with carnal desires. I gotta play it cool though. Take it slow and easy.