Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Oct 01 2011

12:34 PM #
Wanted to hang with Jody last night. Wasn't home so I decided to just play it cool by her door and wait. Babes dig being caught off guard.

12:38 PM #
Got a little worried after 2-3 hrs. Ran home to get some snacks. Ruffles, cold cuts, 12 Busch, jumbo olives. Full spread.

12:40 PM #
When you're stakin out a babe's apartment for her safety, it's best to have some quality eats & plenty of cold ones to keep your energy up.

01:17 PM #
Polished off all the cold ones & snacks. Had a few pee breaks & shots of 'Cardi. Guess I passed out in front of Jody's door. Had a big day.

01:19 PM #
Jody must have come home when I was takin a snooze. Didn't wake me up. So caring. She's a good woman.

01:47 PM #
Haven't rapped at Jody yet today. Wonder what's goin on? Might stop by. Made some of my QB Karl's Touchdown Chili for the game. Sparty on!

01:55 PM #
Ohio State? More like Ohio STINK. Ha! Just made that up. Man, gotta go tell Jody that one.

05:37 PM #
Jody asked if I'd mind watchin her son Jeremy while she stepped out with her friends. Glad to oblige. Good to see a trust forming.

05:39 PM #
Love hangin with Big J. For an 8 year old, he's got a good head on his shoulders. And he had 3 bowls of my QB Karl's Touchdown Chili.

05:41 PM #
Watchin the Tigers with Big J. Red Pop for him. Cold ones for myself. Gonna do some Pizza Rolls in a bit. (Big J's fav) Love this kid.

05:44 PM #
Big J is chanting, "Yankee's Suck It!" Ha! For an 8 year old, he's really got some important life stuff already figured out.

05:48 PM #
Big J asked for a sip of my cold one. Pumpkin Ale with bold Autumn flavors. He LOVED it. Think him and my son got switched at the hospital.

05:50 PM #
Just gonna let Big J finish off that Pumpkin Ale. Kids have strange germs. Gotta drink responsibly, you guys.

06:09 PM #
Big J told me he's "Jesse" not "Jeremy." Think he's pullin my leg. Crackin me up! And these Pumpkin Ales are goin down so smooth.

06:45 PM #
Why do the Yankees even play at all? They should just buy the rights to championship every few years and call it a day. Same crap.

06:47 PM #
Trying to explain to Big J how the Yankees are more of greasy New York corporate business than an actual sports team. He's kinda buzzed.

06:53 PM #
Never minded the real men who played for the Yanks. Donnie Baseball was a badass. These new guys look like they kiss each other good night.