Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Oct 14 2011

11:46 AM #
Work's just no place for a Street Friday Maaaaaannnn!!! Happy Friday to ya, you guys.

12:06 PM #
Really got into it with Dave last night. He was in one of his moods. He said the Tigers had no chance so why was I pumped that they won.

12:08 PM #
Got really steamed. Told Dave that he had no chance at life so why does he even get his wide load out of bed in the morning.

12:11 PM #
Dave made some crack about my "momma" so I smashed my PB & J & Fritos sandwich in his face. Hate to waste food, but he crossed the line.

12:22 PM #
Challenged Dave to a body blow contest. Was time to man up. It really escalated quickly. Everything in the pad is pretty much broken.

12:24 PM #
Lamps, plates, glasses, coffee table, my Blatz sign, the boob tube, Van Halen carnival mirror, pretty much everything is destroyed.

12:43 PM #
Dave says I have to buy him a new Vizio 'cause I ripped his off the wall trying to give him a wedgie. Whatever. They're only like 60 bucks.

02:03 PM #
Feel so terrible. Made a V8 bloody out of my trunk liquor. This is an emergency. Goin to sip it in the john and catch some toilet z's.

05:33 PM #
Just woke up on the toilet at work. Everyone left. Felt so alone. No one even noticed. Kinda hurts. Goin to Chili's to think about my life.