Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Tue Nov 01 2011

12:17 PM #
Trick or Treating with my son was a disaster. I'm sorry, but that guy just sucks sometimes. He dressed up as Harry Potter. Again.

12:21 PM #
Told my son that his costume should be a role model or a hero, like Rambo. Not some pretend magician who likes to ride broomsticks. Yuck.

12:32 PM #
Everytime I'd get groovin on a babe at a house, my son would freak out at some scary decoration and run away. Wanted to murder him.

12:47 PM #
Was drinkin cold ones out of my "adult treat bag." Took a whizz next to a house & my son yelled, "Daddy's makin pee pee!" Kinda hate him.

12:49 PM #
My son wouldn't stop yelling "pee pee!" so I pre-stuffed my plumbing back in my pants and tried to pinch it. Disaster. Real soaker.

12:51 PM #
Told my son that was it, that he ruined BOTH our night's and took him home. Ann probably "accidentally" over bought on the candy anyway.

01:32 PM #
Trick or Treating is just begging. Should be left to the poor kids who come over from the bad neighborhoods packed in tuna boats.

01:35 PM #
Always gotta have 2 candy bowls for trick or treaters. Smarties & Sweet Tarts for the visiting poor kids & Fun Size Snickers for local kids.

03:54 PM #
With all the Halloween commotion, just realized I didn't have a McRib for 2 days. Really disappointed in myself. It's for a limited time.