Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Nov 05 2011

12:58 PM #
Not a fan, but just ordered this bad boy: http://t.co/mOZj7RJx Beaver Nation! Ha! Just some guy humor. Such a classic, you guys.

06:47 PM #
Dave's really tickin me off. Keeps sayin how Ensure is makin his #2s "bigger and badder than ever before." Who brags about bm's?!

07:02 PM #
Dave's drunk. Says he "could beat me any day in a log contest." He's such a no class sow.

07:05 PM #
Dave's weirdin me out. I'm goin to Paddy's. Sick of this.

10:27 PM #
Just got home. Dave left a massive BM in the toilet with a note on the seat that says, "DAVE = CHAMPION." Really steamed.

10:29 PM #
YOU JUST DON'T GO AROUND FLAUNTIN YOUR BIG BM'S IN PEOPLE'S FACES LIKE SOME HOMELESS ANIMAL!

10:35 PM #
Tried to flush it down but it clogged the toilet. Overflow city. The john is a disaster, you guys. NOT HOW I WANT TO END MY NIGHT.

10:48 PM #
Just shut the john door. Had to take a whizz in the kitchen sink. Hope the "CHAMPION" likes cleanin up his own waste in the morning.

11:50 PM #
Can't sleep. The whole pad reeks like Dave's stool overflow. Gonna go heavy on the Glade & throw in a Totino's to cover up the odor.

11:58 PM #
There's no worse way to end your Saturday night than gagging on your pal's stool, you guys.