Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Nov 25 2011

12:24 AM #
kwep it goine all night long!! thatnk you USA yourgusy!!!!!!!!!!

12:35 PM #
Sad to see the poor people lined up for savings this morning. Just work that hard everyday so you don't have to get up at 4am for a $30 tv.

01:08 PM #
Had a blast at Ann's. Flipped my bird on it's end; "The Mega Turk Bowl." Filled with bacon, taters, corn, cheese, & stuffin. Out of bounds.

01:18 PM #
My son said, "Daddy's turkey's weird." Weird is eatin veggie chicken nuggets with ketchup wearin a stupid magic hat on Turkey Day.

01:23 PM #
Was actually great to have my man Dave at Ann's. Think more marriages would work out if you had a buddy to hang out with livin with you.

01:25 PM #
Dave pulled such a classic. Put the turkey neck in his fly & snuck up on Ann. She turned around and went bananas. Said it was inappropriate.

01:27 PM #
When your wife doesn't crack up at a grown man with a Turkey Neck hangin out of his pants like a peener, bein separated makes alot of sense.

01:36 PM #
No one would touch the Mega Turk Bowl, so me and Dave went at it alone. Was nice to not have to eat Ann's dried out bland bird.

01:38 PM #
For the holidays, if someone makes something you don't like, it's polite manners to let them know so they don't embarrass themselves again.

01:43 PM #
Me and Dave musta drank a thousand beers. Ann asked if we were ok to drive. She coulda just asked us to go. Such a rude hint to leave.

01:49 PM #
It's ok to drive drunk on Turkey Day. When everyone knows everyone else is bombed, the understanding is to just be extra careful, you guys.

05:14 PM #
Asked Ann if I could stop by to pick up some lefties. She said, "Yeah, you left your marijuana cigarette in the guest bathroom" & hung up.

05:15 PM #
Forgot me & Dave burned a J in the guest john. Wonder if Ann really wants me to come get it plus some lefties? She sounded steamed.