Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Dec 08 2011

11:17 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

12:39 PM #
We're supposed to pick Secret Santas at work later. Gotta get a good one. Nothin worse than havin' a grossout Secret Santa, you guys.

12:45 PM #
Secret Santa is the time to reward someone and take credit on the sly, or punish them anonymously so they know they suck super hard..

12:57 PM #
Last year my Secret Santa got me a badass Red Wings scarf. Let me know I was on team "cool." Wish I didn't drop it in the toilet at Wendy's.

04:29 PM #
I drew Nosey Lady for Secret Santa today. Can hardly admit it to myself. I can't believe this. Night is ruined. Headin to Cold One City.

04:32 PM #
Dave said "Christmas is the time to treat your enemies with love just like Jesus did." Jesus helps BELIEVERS, not enemies, idiot. They burn.

04:36 PM #
The Kings loved Jesus and brought him gold jewelry, exotic oils & bold smellin' goods. They're pals. Enemies didn't get him a cold fart.

04:43 PM #
It's a $20 limit. Technically, I could pay Dave $20 for some of his smelly BVDs and it'd count. In Japan, used unders are a primo gift.

04:45 PM #
The cold ones are goin' down SO smooth, you guys. Just somethin' about the holidays, ya know? It's important to indulge to the fullest.