Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Dec 18 2011

12:44 AM #
Pabst. Blue. Ribbon. Let's make Christmas a special moment for carnal and family relations. For life. Let's be together, USA.

01:49 PM #
Dave just made an 8 egg omelette. Great. Can't wait for his pooter to fall out like a stillborn baby cow. Dave's so rank, you guys.

02:55 PM #
Great. Egg farts all ready happening. The pad smells like a hot diaper in some foreign country. No wonder we can't have babes over.

03:23 PM #
Guess I called Jody last night. She just rang back. Said to not do that anymore. Called me a "psychopath." Ha! She wants me back. So bad.

03:26 PM #
Playing hard to get with insults to a babe is a 2 way street. Gonna call Jody. Tell her she's the Butt Police of Asstown. So carnal.

03:34 PM #
Jody didn't pick up. Left her a message. "You're the Butt Police of Asstown. Let's get erotic soon. You want my beef." Think I nailed it.

03:56 PM #
If anyone has a problem with me drinkin' cold ones and tryin' to have a goddamn Sunday, they can kiss my peener, you guys.

03:58 PM #
Sundays are pretty much a once a week celebraish. It's the Christian weekly time to unwind and drink a thousand beers. Peace be with you.

04:06 PM #
Made a DiGiorno pizza & cut it into chunks, tossed with ranch. Call it a Pizzasalad. Might hit up Cain Train about it. Really on point.

04:07 PM #
I'm the greatest of all time. Forever and ever, you guys.

04:09 PM #
YOU DON'T LIKE THE PRESTIGE! YOU DON'T LIKE THE NOTORIETY! I GOT LIFE, PRETTY MUCH THE WAY I WANT IT, you guys.

04:10 PM #
WOOOOOO!!!!

04:17 PM #
Just found out that Ric Flair's not dead through the interet. Gonna crank up this celebraish like never before. WOOOO!!!

04:26 PM #
GO LIONS! Suck it, you low class Oakland animals. Gonna go take an Al Davis. (that means crap. in my toilet.) Ha!

04:29 PM #
Puttin' Stranglehold on repeat. Me and Dave are doin' the peener. Such a great day. So friggin' pumped. Crankin' up the celebraish!

04:35 PM #
If you don't like how I live MY life, then FUCK YOU. Stranglehold motherfuckers. STRANGLEHOLD.

04:43 PM #
Me and Dave are goin' on the roof. Really scream at the sky. Let everyone know the Lions are #1.