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DadBoner - Sat Dec 24 2011

12:12 PM #
Almost outta cold ones & eats. Don't know what's goin' down tomorrow, but it's gotta be big! Gonna head to Kohl's in a few, then stock up.

12:15 PM #
Bringin' my sixer cooler to Kohl's. It'll just look like a "man bag." Very European, you guys. Classy, but with it's own lil' secret. (Shh)

12:18 PM #
Around the holidays, you gotta be enjoyin' responsibly around the clock. Nobody likes a "Sober-Scrooge." Makes everyone else look bad.

02:08 PM #
Just got back from Kohl's. Real disaster. Forgot my wallet fell out of my pants in the Crock Pot crash. Only have $3 left in my pocket.

02:09 PM #
Had a nice gift spread too. Was all buzzed from my Euro man bag cold ones, so I was feelin' generous. Shoppin's better with a buzz.

02:12 PM #
Told the cashier I'd come back with a check. She got that corncob manager. Told me I need an ID to use a check. So steamed.

02:14 PM #
Kohl's manager offered to call a shelter for me in the spirit of Christmas. Then called me "brother." I'm not a homeless black, idiot! AHHH!

02:21 PM #
Asked Dave if I could borrow some cash. Said he only has a 20 to last him for the weekend. He's such a lowlife. I should just take it.

02:30 PM #
Go Lions I guess. Kinda bummed. Down to 2 cold ones. Gonna max out my $3 & change on Steel Reserve, then figure it out, Man vs. Wild style.

04:30 PM #
BIG WIN FOR THE LIONS! Makes this Steel Reserve go down SO smooth. Well, smoother. It's not really that smooth. But definitely smoother.

04:55 PM #
Dave just put a DiGiorno in the oven. Oh yeeaah. Time to get the celebraish rockin! Sure am hungry. Might have to sneak a slice.

05:45 PM #
I'm down to a Lil' Debbie Oatmeal Cream, a frozen Tina's Bean Bureet, half a Steel, and half a can a Chunky left.

05:47 PM #
Dave's hoggin' the whole DiGiorno. Folded in it half. Says it's how they do it NYC and won't share. So steamed.

05:48 PM #
Gonna see what I can whip up with the Chunky, Tina's, and Lil Debbie. It'll be just like on Chopped! Maybe I could submit to be on it.

08:12 PM #
Well, my Tina's Burreet with Chunky Soup Sauce & Lil Debbie Oatmeal Cream Crumble was perty tasty. Suck it Dave you heartless sow!

08:35 PM #
Ann's not returning my calls. Probably busy gettin ready for the big celebraish. We'll just hook up tomorrow I guess.

08:38 PM #
Fishin Dave's DiGiorno crusts out of the trash. It's a sin to be wasteful on Christmas Eve with all the starving people, is all. WWJD?

08:43 PM #
I'd personally never eat out of the trash. I have class. But it's a holiday. Helping the poor is basically a gift to the baby Jesus.

08:48 PM #
Hittin' the sack. Figure it out tomorrow. Still plenty of time for great gifts. May visions of bold flavors, dance in your heads, you guys.