Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Jan 06 2012

01:08 PM #
Heard that Kanyo West nincompoop is settin' up a big meeting of the minds. Didn't know he was still around. Might have to get involved.

01:10 PM #
Haven't heard from Kanyo West since he went all assclown on that hurricane show with Austin Powers. Figured he just worked at Arby's now.

01:51 PM #
Hear all you have to do to get on the Kanyo West supermind team is send a letter on the computer and you get to be mad swag. Worth a shot.

01:55 PM #
Dear Kanyo, Karl Welzein here, aka K-Money, which is my name on the streets. Good to see you're back on the scene and feelin' well.

01:56 PM #
Last time I heard, you were bein' a world class corncob, but hey, we all make mistakes and it's not fair to hold a brother to his past.

01:58 PM #
A few ticks back I took alot of static for makin' a bm behind the dumpster at work. People still try to kick knowledge about it, but...

02:00 PM #
...it's old news, blood. Anyway, thought I'd reach out, guy to guy, and see if you'd like me on your supermind team. I got creativity by...

02:02 PM #
...the buttload! (Ha! just some bathroom guy humor there) I've just had so many ideas that could make the world a bolder place:

02:04 PM #
McWing Sammies at Mickey D's, mucho off the chain flavor bowls, and Captain Karl's Pizza Ship, which I think you'd be down with. See,...

02:05 PM #
...Captain Karl's would be an equal opportunity employer for blacks, whites, everything really. You just need healthy chest beefers...

02:07 PM #
...to be a busty sea wench waitress, or to work on time to wash the dishes in our after school program for minorities. I have a dream,...

02:09 PM #
...Kanyo, and that dream is for all colors to enjoy the bold flavors of buy 11 get one free Top Shelf Margs together in peace forever.

02:10 PM #
And if you're steamed that I'm a no good honkey, I gotta lay down that I'm tight with Vernon, Homeless Peanut, and The Cain Train.

02:12 PM #
I care about black people, Kanyo. Represent to the fullest and pour out some 40. And since you're a rapper, I gotta tell you that I'm...

02:13 PM #
...down with carnal passions involving big dumpers and crap. We should have a side guy to guy about babes sometime.

02:17 PM #
Oh, I gotta tell you about the new dance called "The Peener." It's sweepin' the nation and I think I'd be mad swag on your next record.

02:18 PM #
Dave came up with The Peener, but I'm the man who's makin' it happen from coast to coast. It's just like George Bernard Shaw said,

02:21 PM #
"If you have a bold flavor, and I have a bold flavor, and we exchange bold flavors, then you and I will still each have one bold flavor...

02:22 PM #
...But you have a bold flavor and I have a bold flavor and we share these bold flavors, then each of us will have two bold flavors."

02:23 PM #
(he said "apples" but who likes those unless you want the runs to get out of something?)

02:24 PM #
Kanyo, get at me dog. Let's roll, creatively. Regards, Karl "K-Money" Welzein

02:33 PM #
PS, Kanyo, Think you should change the name of your company from "DONDA" to "CELEBRAISH." Creatively, it has a more positive feel, you guys.