Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sat Jan 07 2012

11:51 AM #
Super pumped for the Lions. Hittin the store for some goodies. It's ok to go out of the healthzone for a pigskin celebraish, you guys. USA.

01:41 PM #
Peanut asked if Barry Sanders still played for the Lions. Ha! Really doggin him. Gotta make him feel stupid. It's a true sign of friendship.

01:45 PM #
Some poors say dumb crap 'cause they haven't had a tube for a while. Some just rot their brain with the bottle. Gotta be understanding.

05:00 PM #
Got Koegels goin for Coney Islands. Just usin Hormel, but I added my own spices. (special recipe) Chips, bold dips. The works. Full spread.

05:01 PM #
Crankin up Stranglehold. Watchin this babes cans on mute. Lions wild card 2012. Let's roll, you guys.

05:26 PM #
Ha! That guy's got the limp plumbing! Cialis is for corncobs who are into dudes and married to babes or fellas with no carnal drive.

05:34 PM #
This is a great day to be alive. Feel like I could drink a thousand beers right now. God bless the Lions and the USA, forever and ever.

05:50 PM #
Miller Lite has more taste? What taste is that? Water? More WATER taste? Quit tryin' to fool us with your fake macho bullcrap.

05:59 PM #
Touchdown! Time for a Pee & Bee'. And a shot. Or 3. Ha!

06:35 PM #
Dave called first halftime bm. I really blew it. Just gonna shoot some Crown to take my mind off the massive bm I have to make so bad.

07:18 PM #
Dave said he'll be out of the john in a second. Said he's "talkin' to a babe." Is that what he calls diarrhea now?! So steamed.

07:20 PM #
I got 5 Coney Dogs tryin' to kick down my backdoor, Dave! Get out of the friggin' can! I gotta grunt so I can enjoy the game! AGGHHH!!!

07:39 PM #
Great. Peanut just took a crap in a Folger's can in the kitchen. Sick of this. Goin' to Paddy's. Pedal to the medal. Gotta crap so bad.

07:53 PM #
Didn't make it to the car. Tossed my unders & Wranglers in the trash and went in the pad with my Rodney Peete jersey pulled over my peener.

07:57 PM #
38-21?!!! When did this happen? Oh my god. This is Dave's fault. Goin to kick down the john door and give him a piece of my mind!

08:03 PM #
AAHHHHGHHHH!!!! MOTHERFUCJERrR!!!! GONNA KILLL SOMEBODY GODN<AMIT!!!!!!!!!

08:28 PM #
Goin' in the john to clean my doodoo rear end and shed a few tears on the john like a man has to sometimes. Might call Ann. So sick of this.

08:32 PM #
When a real bad boy has to cry, you do it on the toilet with the door shut. Unless you already kicked it down.