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DadBoner - Wed Jan 11 2012

11:06 AM #
Finally got my review done. Think I did a mean job. Was up super late workin' on it and poundin' Crown. Heard all the greats did that.

11:09 AM #
CAPTAIN KARL'S BAD BOY KORNER: DR. PEPPER TEN REVIEW Welcome to the first installment of CKBBK! Let's get right into it.

11:12 AM #
This week I heard Dr. Pepper had a new pop flavor called "TEN" when I saw their commercial featuring some corncob tryin' to get macho.

11:14 AM #
Really got me steamed that they didn't use Rambo or Stone Cold or somebody who grew a pair enough to kickass in the jungle. Just some load.

11:16 AM #
The Dr. Pepper Load tells everyone how "TEN" isn't for babes to drink. That's crap. Ya gotta share with babes to get carnal passions.

11:20 AM #
Dr. Pepper TEN turns off babes? So stupid. I don't want no part of a cold beverage that makes 'em hit the bricks. You wanna keep 'em comin.

11:23 AM #
When you try too hard to be macho like Dr. Pepper TEN, hatin' on babes, you're probably a fella who likes extra long showers at the gym.

11:28 AM #
Dr. Pepper TEN is for corncobs who can't embrace their carnality for other fellas. (Which's cool. Passion is for everyone. But I dig babes.)

11:30 AM #
Let's get on to the taste of Dr. Pepper TEN. Says it has 10 Bold Tasting Calories. Calories don't taste bold, idiots, flavors do.

11:31 AM #
Dr. Pepper TEN tastes like Diet Dr. Pepper, which they say tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Same crap in different cans. Get a new idea.

11:34 AM #
Dr. Pepper TEN is LYING about "Bold Taste." It's not Chipotle Lime Dr. Pepper, you guys. Really bringin down fine cuisines who deserve it.

11:36 AM #
To conclude, Dr. Pepper TEN is just some lying crap for guys to drink in a closet when they wish they were hot and soapy with a fella.

11:40 AM #
"Dr. Pepper TEN, it's not for women." Great, have fun in your jungle of man on man denial. I'll be at the bar sharin' cold ones with a babe.

11:42 AM #
(Not that there's anything wrong with man on man passion. just not for me. This is 2012. Let's be open and superminds together like Kanyo.)

11:43 AM #
Keep it rockin' in the USA, you guys. -Captain Karl