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DadBoner - Mon Jan 16 2012

11:08 AM #
Woke up this mornin & Homeless Peanut was layin in front of the door! It's an MLK Day miracle! Dr. King works in mysterious ways, you guys.

11:16 AM #
Asked Peanut where he was. He said, "Just chilin,' K-Money." I thought he was dead in a dumpster, or worse!

11:21 AM #
Peanut said we were at 'Bees on Friday and I "kept talkin bout some Jamie Lee lady's big breastesses" then just wandered off, so he split.

11:24 AM #
Peanut thought I was "goin to lay the pipe" and didn't want to get in the way of my "K-Money mack mode." So polite and thoughtful.

11:28 AM #
Peanut said he got out of payin at 'Bee's by wettin his pants & talkin bout "fires" til they kicked him out. He's smarter than he looks.

11:46 AM #
Gotta really go all out for the MLK celebraish. Wanna make it special for Peanut. It's pretty much the black Thanksgiving.

11:57 AM #
Told Peanut we're gonna raise the roof with mad swag in his honor, and as an apology for whites bein corncobs to blacks. Might get some KFC.

11:59 AM #
Asked Peanut if he wanted KFC. Didn't want to assume. It's racist. He said, "KFC? OOOWEEEE! K-Money comin' correct with The Colonel!"

12:08 PM #
Dave's got all pumped when he heard "KFC." Told him it wasn't for him cause he didn't pray for Peanut. I can't treat the whole neighborhood.

12:11 PM #
Don't know why some black folks get offended when you assume they want free fried chicken. Last thing I'd get mad at is free Olive Garden.

12:36 PM #
Gonna get every color of Mad Dog. They're all equal for the MLK celebraish. But tomorrow, Banana Red returns to the back of the bus.

12:44 PM #
It's important for whites to do at least one nice thing for blacks today. Like holdin a door or makin eye contact that says, "I'm so sorry."

12:49 PM #
MLK Celebraish Day 2012. For all colors, creeds, Lionel Richie, everyone really. Let's roll together, you guys. The works. Full spread.