Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Jan 20 2012

11:49 AM #
Knock knock knockin' on Friday's door. Cold, cold...cold, cold ones. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN' ON FRIDAY'S DOOOOOOR!!!

11:54 AM #
Last night was a disaster. Had to make stupid Dave his stupid steak & fixins 'cause Esquire burned me. Gonna give 'em a piece of my mind.

11:57 AM #
You'd think Esquire woulda liked the perspective of a REAL man givin' a REAL opinion about eats & drinks for once. They really blew it.

12:03 PM #
I spent all night SLAVING over Dave. Made sure his steak was just right. Had to call him "King Dave." Sauteed his 'shrooms to perfection.

12:05 PM #
I'm tellin' ALL my friends, that Esquire Magazine don't know crap about good taste and burnin' down corncobs. No balls. Not for real men.

12:07 PM #
Just told Ken he better cancel his Esquire subscription unless he wants everyone to think he's a fancy sissy. That mag is old news.

12:10 PM #
Not gonna let this ruin' MY weekend. Goin' to make a trunk liquor drink and get started on my burn letter to Esquire. Really shut 'em down.

12:12 PM #
When the bigwigs hold back the little guy in this crazy world we call, "life", it's time to chop 'em down with back of your hand, you guys.