Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Jan 29 2012

10:19 AM #
Dave tried to wake me up for church this mornin'. Always does that when he's feelin' down or did somethin' wrong. So selfish.

10:21 AM #
Guess Peanut went with Dave to church 'cause he promised donuts afterwards. Came home with a sack of day olds. What a scam. I'm no sucker.

10:24 AM #
The only way The Big Man respects prayin' is if you go to church for no reason or on Christmas. Goin' just 'cause your sad looks weak.

10:26 AM #
Every Sunday, I say an Our Father & a Hail Mary when I'm takin' my mornin' break on the john. If that ain't enough, then I can't help ya.

10:29 AM #
Sure, I hope there's a Heaven. I also hoped the Lions would get to the Superbowl. Just 'cause you want somethin' don't guarantee it's true.

11:19 AM #
Believin' in Heaven is just a safety net so seconds before nobodies die they can think, "I didn't amount to crap. Glad there's overtime."

11:38 AM #
Live life like there's NO Heaven. Get the job done now. Go all out. The works. The Big Man won't ask you to the dance if you look desperate.

09:25 PM #
Just finished a whole super size bag of Munchies. Dave bet me 5 bucks I couldn't do it. Idiot. They're called, "Munchies." It was no prob.

09:29 PM #
Slow, all day snackin' keeps it in the healthzone. And the variety in Munchies is a boldstravaganza. Never gets old in your mouth, you guys.

09:35 PM #
Feel accomplished today. Got some rest, helped Peanut with some ideas he wants to send to Penthouse Forum & ate a whole SS bag of Munchies.

09:37 PM #
Peanut has some real raunchy tales of steamy passions from way back. Some are kinda disturbing. Had to edit out of few for Penthouse.

09:40 PM #
Wonder if there's a Penthouse Soul Forum or somethin'? Peanut's erotic fiction might be better for urban brothers. Alot of it's in jive.

09:43 PM #
Told Peanut that Penthouse Forum is a tough nut to crack. Gettin' published is hard, but I'd type up his letter tomorrow at work to send.

09:56 PM #
Dave said, "Dag, Peanut, you used work out your 'rection on all the horny ho-bags!" I don't have the words. Night's ruined. Goin to bed now.