Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Mon Feb 06 2012

01:31 PM #
Didn't bother goin' to work. Probably dead there. It's pretty much an unwritten rule that Super Bowl Monday is really Sunday this week.

01:32 PM #
If you went to work today, man, you gotta be one of the biggest kiss asses in town, pal.

01:38 PM #
Woke up in the neighbor's Grand Am this mornin. Guess I tossed my cookies. Could've already been there though? It was unlocked.

01:43 PM #
If you black out & puke in someone else's car instead of your own, that shows you have the self protective instinct of an alpha male.

02:01 PM #
Orderin' an Papa's fave from Papa J's. Get that in me and a few patch it up cold ones. No need to feel like death when there's a simple fix.

02:09 PM #
Super Bowl Monday is the time when we reflect on how blessed we are to live in a country where you can live so hard that you wanna die.

05:16 PM #
Told Dave he could have a slice of my Papa J's. He took one & put it in his dresser. Wanna say somethin, but I'm just gonna let it go.

05:18 PM #
Really lookin' forward to the single life, you guys. I've been holdin back on the babe front cause of Ann, but not anymore. It's nasty time.

06:00 PM #
Divorced? It's just halftime, America. I can't be knocked out with one punch. I'll get right back up again...

06:01 PM #
...and when I do, babes all around the world are gonna hear the roar of my engine.