Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Thu Feb 09 2012

10:12 AM #
Really lookin' forward to the weekend, you guys.

10:32 AM #
Nosey Lady said that the head honcho is comin in tomorrow & wants to sit down for our guy to guy. Told her I have to meet Ann for divorce.

10:34 AM #
Nosey said, "Oh Karl, I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were having a split, it explains alot." She musta noticed how much more swag I got.

10:37 AM #
Guess Nosey went through a breakup last year. Said we should have a talk and that she'd reschedule Honcho for Monday so I have more time.

10:49 AM #
Guess divorce kinda gets you sympathy even if you're macho about it behind the scenes. Might have to drag it out. Gotta take advantage.

11:02 AM #
Whether you're goin through a death, divorce, or explosive diarrhea, people either try & relate or just look the other way. Both are polite.

12:36 PM #
Why don't toilets have little "rearview" mirrors so you can see how you're doin' on the clean up situaish? It'd be so plush. Real high end.

06:27 PM #
Made a prototype post-bm cleanup mirror. I call it "The Backdoor Reflector." Dave saw it and freaked out. He's not comfortable with his bod.

06:38 PM #
Gettin' my outfit together for the meeting with Ann & the lawyer tomorrow. Wearin' my Maui Jims. Gotta style & profile.

06:41 PM #
Thinkin' about cuttin' the sleeves off my dress shirt so when my sport coat comes off, it's like, "bam." Classy, yet intimidating.

06:49 PM #
Can't wait for Ann to see me in action when I get down to biz with her divorce lawyer. My power moves'll have her thinkin' twice.

07:04 PM #
If you want a babe to crave you carnally, you gotta shut down whoever she has in her hero position. Shows you're the dominant predator.