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DadBoner - Mon Apr 02 2012

10:39 AM #
Rough night. Really hurtin. After Dave told me him & Ann made it, I went & drank trunk liquor in the Chili's parking lot, blarin The Rising.

10:44 AM #
Any song by The Boss meant to soothe America after a major terrorist attack also works for when your best pal gets carnal with your wife.

10:46 AM #
Full of trunk liquor, blind rage, and Bruce Springsteen, I decided to go give Ann a piece of my mind. 'Cause that's what a MAN does.

10:49 AM #
Pounded on Ann's door for like a thousand years. Split my hand open pretty bad. My son finally answered, wearin' a fake tail. Great.

10:52 AM #
My son said, "Hi Daddy Mommy's having quiet time look I grew a tail with magic hahahahaha April Fool's Daddy people don't have tails silly!"

10:54 AM #
Realized Dave really burned me with an April Fool's joke. Made me more steamed than if he did make it with Ann.

10:56 AM #
My son asked if he should "go get mommy." I said "shut up," threw up on the magnolias, and hit the bricks. Had to get it on.

01:41 PM #
When I got back to the pad, I told Dave, guy to guy, that it was cool that he got carnal with Ann. Couldn't blame him. Seemed kinda shocked.

01:42 PM #
Told Dave, "I'm a modern man. You never know when carnal desires can strike. It's natural to get natural."...

01:45 PM #
..."But, I had to even the score. It's guy code. So I set Ann's house on fire." Gave him the cut your throat sign with side of crazy eyes.

01:47 PM #
Dave's eyes welled up with tears and he started shakin real bad. Ran in his room screamin, "IT WAS A JOKE WE DIDN'T MAKE IT OH GOD OH GOD!"

01:50 PM #
Let Dave really think on how he possibly made me murder my family for about a half hour. Ha! Real satisfyin. Don't mess with the Captain.

01:54 PM #
When you josh around about puttin your quarters in a another man's lady bank, be prepared to have your mind destroyed, maniac style.

01:55 PM #
Don't mess around with Captain Karl: President and CEO of Bad Boy City, USA, you guys.

01:56 PM #
Power moves.