Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Fri Apr 06 2012

03:35 PM #
"And He will raise you up, on Friday's wings..." Happy Good Friday to ya, you guys.

03:45 PM #
Left work early. It's the respectable thing to do on Good Friday. Had to hit Mickey D's for a some Filet O Fishes. Gotta take advantage.

04:09 PM #
Finally rapped with Ken today. Kept missin' each other all week. Followed him in the john, leaned on the door 'til he finished up his bm.

04:24 PM #
Told Ken, "Rockin' celebraish last week. Such a blast. We should do it again sometime." Had to put my shirt over my nose. His BM was mighty.

04:28 PM #
Let Ken know that "he don't have to worry about any carnal passions between me and his wife. My policy is hands off another guy's beefers."

04:30 PM #
Ken's wife musta said somethin' 'bout her natural attraction to my mad swag. He looked uncomfortable like he had a BM aftershock brewin'.

04:33 PM #
Ken tried to walk by me. Didn't say nothin'. I blocked the door with my arm and put a hand on his shoulder, guy to guy. Friendly power move.

04:41 PM #
Ken must have some social prob where he doesn't like other people touchin' him, 'cause he moved my hand. Told him, "It's, just guy to guy!"

04:44 PM #
Ken said, "Karl. You just don't get it. You RUINED our party. You blared music over the game. You wouldn't stop staring at my wife's body...

04:47 PM #
, you did something to our restroom that took 2 days to fix, you made our new neighbors leave and now they won't talk to us. You...

04:48 PM #
...passed out on the couch and wouldn't wake up. In the middle of the night, my wife went downstairs and said you were standing up...

04:52 PM #
...in front of the sofa, urinating on it. When she screamed at you, you said, "I'm takin' a forget!", then laid back down in your own filth.

04:55 PM #
We had to have it professionally cleaned for $75 dollars. AND, you left a porno book on the coffee table. That my mother in law...

04:58 PM #
...saw when she came over for Sunday dinner. She thought it was Time magazine. Now she won't speak to us and "doesn't even know who we are."

05:02 PM #
And Karl,YOU WEREN'T INVITED. I've been sick all week from stress at home. Thanks alot." Wanted to break the ice. Told him, "I can smell."

05:04 PM #
Ken took off before we could get down to the REAL problem. And, pretty sure I'd remember whizzin' on his couch. Coulda been someone else?

05:07 PM #
Ken's oolala wife must really be hot for my touch. Gotta back burner that. Sounds like they're havin' problems. Could be open season.

05:16 PM #
When a pal is actin' steamed, 95% of the time it's 'cause he's got babe problems. The other 5%? Usually 'Rrhea. Gotta remember it's not you.

05:28 PM #
Just knowin a babe wants to get natural with your bod can give you the mad swag to cash in on piles of chest beefers from coast to coast.