Twitter Fiction Reader

DadBoner - Sun Apr 08 2012

12:46 PM #
Happy Easter, you bunnies.

12:52 PM #
Really hurtin'. Crazy Cooter stopped by last night with a bunch of some stuff called "MDMA." Think it's a big city thing. Real cosmopolitan.

12:55 PM #
MDMA made Dave get an uncontrollable erection. He had to hang out in the john for a while. We played it cool. It's natural. Guy code.

12:58 PM #
Called Barb a bunch on MDMA. Made me randy. It's a carnal, natural, life enhancer. Gives you enough carnal passions to destroy the sun.

01:00 PM #
Gonna pound a few BL 'Nums. Gotta get loose and conversational to call Barb again. Love that name. Barb. Barb. Barrrrrb. Real growly.

01:01 PM #
Wonder if health food stores sell MDMA? They should. They'd really clean up. Really enhances the bold flavor lifestyle.

01:02 PM #
Power Moves

01:07 PM #
I should probably take MDMA all the time. Crazy Cooter calls it, "The Sweet Bitch." Makes everything so tasty, and I gotta hearty appetite.

01:16 PM #
Crazy Cooter turned me on to this last night. Never was much for rap. But Cooter says it's the "summer anthem." http://t.co/ZD88fQtx

01:19 PM #
Can't stop listenin' to this song. Makes me wanna take America into the galaxy. Bad Boy City, USA. http://t.co/ZD88fQtx

01:31 PM #
America, Let's roll, you guys.

01:36 PM #
It ain't about the money. Make your own lane. It ain't about the money. Make your own lane. It ain't about the money. Make your own lane.

01:37 PM #
Better recognize game, you guys.

01:41 PM #
God bless Kid Rock. Pure Michigan. God bless the Tigers. Salt of the earth. Mitten in the air, 'til I die. Headin' to Cold One City, USA.

01:45 PM #
It's days like these, when I realize that some people don't like me, they can get a fat middle finger in their face. Hard and strong.

01:52 PM #
Thing is, we're all USA, you guys. Brothers and sisters. Everyone should kiss our backdoors. Buy American. Sick of this.

02:12 PM #
Bold flavors, carnal passions, mad swag? The USA pretty much has it all. We need to step up and run things. Show the world what we're about.

02:14 PM #
At the end of the day, if we rise together as America? Man, we'll crush your face.

02:17 PM #
We're America. We don't work at the store, we own the business.